Smile;
make them think you're happy
Lie
and say that things are fine
And
hide that empty longing that you feel
Don't
ever show it, just keep your heart concealed
Why
are the days so lonely?
I
wonder where, where can a heart go free?
And
who will dry the tears that no one sees?
There
must be someone to share your silent dreams
Caught
like a leaf in the wind
Looking
for a friend, where can you turn?
⃰⃰⃰⃰ ⃰
⃰ ⃰
August 2013
It was a wonderful
sunny day; the weather was bright, with soft, white, fluffy clouds that lazily
flirt across the clear blue sky. A
gentle breeze filtered through the tree branches and leaves. The sun was blazing hot and heating up the
atmosphere, while the ocean lay calm and inviting reflecting the beauty of the
blue sky above.
It was such a peaceful and warm Friday
afternoon. The sounds of the birds
singing and the ocean waves crashing against the dock and sea boulders in the
distance was quite calming to her nerves and tortured soul.
Steffie was sitting in the Botanical
Gardens thinking about her life and the present situation in which she found
herself. She looked about the gardens in
order to clear her mind of painful thoughts.
The Botanical Gardens, was a large park
with various big trees and lush green grass that stretched across from one
point to the other. There were a few
flowers along the park, and hedges cut in a way that made it mesmerising.
The Gardens were quite peaceful with
children’s laughter while playing, and a few people sitting or walking
around. Occasionally, a vehicle diving
through the Gardens spoiled the tranquillity.
How could I have
been so dense? She asked herself
repeatedly.
Steffie had met Jake six months ago, but
knew him for about two years before. He
had come to her like a wolf in sheep’s clothing, pretending to be good, caring
and very charming.
She had been captivated by his charm, he was different from the men she dated before and been hurt by. Boy was she dense to have given in to his pleading voice. Now she could not believe how stupid she had been to fall for such a charmer.
Steffie sighed and leaned back into the
wooden bench.
What am I going to
do now? Why did this have to happen to me, now especially? She asked her self again. She looked at her watch then sighed
heavily. She had been sitting in the
park for an hour now, since she had finished the training course for the day.
The course, in which
she was taking part in, was an Entrepreneurship course for youths and adults.
Over the past three weeks, she had learned a lot about running and managing a
business, and she hoped that she would be able to apply those skills to her own
business soon.
A lot was going on in
her life but she refused to let it deter her from making the best of the
situation she was in and a future for herself.
Steffie stood up and walked across the park roads towards the gate in
which she had entered.
She dug around in her
bag for her phone, which was ringing and swiped the answer button across the
screen to answer the call.
“Hi, Mom.” she said
into the phone.
“Where are you?” her
mom asked, sounding worried.
“I’m making my way
towards the bus stop now, why?” she asked.
“Oh, nothing was just a
bit worried.” Her mom said with relief in her voice.
Steffie smiled. She loved her Mom, who did not hesitate to
check up on her ever so often. They had
that kind of relationship.
“See you in a while,
Mom”
“Yeah, okay.”
She hung up and
continued on her way. As she reached the
bus stop, she was thankful that she got a bus leaving on time and did not have
to sit and wait. She dug around in the bag for her
earphones, connected them to her phone & inserted the ear buds into her
ears and let the soothing music surround her.
It was the weekend and
she was planning to enjoy it with no mishaps and drama. Just one more week of training and then it
would be back to her normal boring life. Only it was no longer normal.
Two months ago she’d decided
to take a ‘leap of faith’ and let Jake prove to her that not all men were the
same – lying, cheating, disgraceful
bastards – but yet he’d only prove to her that he was just the same.
He did not just lie to
her, but had hurt her mentally and although she did not love him, he had hurt
her emotionally. Her mom was right about
him, she admitted. He was an SOB.
Seems like every time
she tried to be happy something always went wrong. She almost felt like giving
up all together on life, yet again. That
night when she got home, she greeted her parents, and then headed off to her
room.
She undressed then
walked over to the mirror, which was hanging on her door and just looked
herself from head to toe. You could not
tell any difference in her except for the slight glow on her face. She took a warm shower and a few minutes
later, she got out feeling refreshed, and put on her shorts and tank top and
went over to the bed.
Lying on her bed,
thoughts and emotions over-whelmed her and she ended up crying herself to sleep
as she always did. She was experiencing
slight back pains and fatigue so was thankful every night for her soft bed.
'When
we hurt each/another
With
our words,
With
our actions,
On the
other hand, even with our thoughts,
It
causes a wound.
Some
wounds are seen,
Some
are invincible,
Some
wounds heal and some leaves scars.
Moreover,
some wounds which are constantly inflicted or opened again and again....
May
never heal.'
